I am torn between two schools of thought on indulgence now.
Especially when it comes to food!
To eat or not to eat … that is the question.
I know my doctors tell me that sugar is bad for cancer and all the medical journals say sugar is a feeder for cancer. Not to mention the fact that sugar obviously makes you gain weight.
I used to be skinny.
I weighed 96 lbs until my mid-30s. I had a high metabolism and lots of energy and ate everything in sight. I now weigh 196 lbs have a not so high metabolism and a medium low amount of energy and I still eat everything in sight.
I do realize that weight gain is a part of getting older.
Metabolisms slow down, menopause hits, hormones get all wacky. I’m neither attributing 100% blame to these things; nor am I summarily dismissing these things either.
I do realize that weight and body shapes are somewhat genetic.
My nieces always called my mother an Oompa Loompa because of her short stature and large derriere. The apple-bottom obviously hasn’t fallen far from that tree.
I do realize that weight is heavily dependent on what you eat.
If you eat Taco Bell and bread and chocolate chip cookies and drink 3 Cokes a day – like I do – you’re going to gain weight.
I do realize that weight is heavily dependent on your level of activity.
If you don’t get any exercise and live a sedentary lifestyle – like I do – you’re going to gain weight.
I’ve always been lazy.
That has never been a secret in any factor of my life – except work. I’m not lazy at work. At home, I would much rather watch TV, work on some craft, take a nap, read a book, or some other activity I can participate in from either my living room or my bedroom.
That’s not to say I don’t EVER exercise.
If it is something I’m really interested in, like hiking in Tennessee, riding horses, bowling, dancing, mall walking (i.e., shopping!), etc., I’m all about it and can muster the necessary energy. I can say with certainty that I get absolutely NO formal exercise, and these ad hoc activities occur few and far between.
A lot of it is mindset, I believe.
If I can trick myself into doing something active, but not really exercising, I’m okay. I will play with a hoola hoop, chase my dog or horse around the yard, play miniature golf, go bird watching on the trails at the local park or dig around in the crick (sorry, creek for you non-Ohioans).
HERE IS WHERE THE DILEMMA COMES IN!
As with EVERY idea that is in my head, there are always two warring factions – one on either side. In this battle, I have the one side that KNOWS I should be eating right and exercising and getting enough sleep, etc. On the other side, I have the “You’ve cheated death three times (breast cancer twice, and one roll-over car accident), so live life the way you want to” faction. The latter is winning by 98%.
Hence, the tennis match in my head.
One day I’m irritated at my weight, the next day it doesn’t bother me in the least. One day I’m worried about all the sugar I eat and how it may be fueling a new bout with cancer; the next day I can’t shove a Tim Horton’s Boston Cream donut in my face fast enough.
What’s a girl to do?