Funny Family Sayings


All children when learning to speak often get the words wrong or syllables in the wrong order, or “their tongue wrapped around their eye tooth,” as my dad would say.  Normally, the child eventually learns to say the word or phrase properly and goes on with their life.

Not in our family.
We still to this day rattle off misspoken phrases from our childhood and call things by whatever name we fumbled as toddlers.  It’s an immaturity thing that we – as adults – still use these words and phrases in our everyday communication, but we don’t care!

Here’s some of them. 
(Names have been omitted to protect the guilty.)

  • “There’s a piss meecing.”  (There’s a piece missing.)
  • “I’ll do it my own self.”  (I’ll do it myself.)
  • pie-yoo  (pillow)
  • Mimi (Tammy)
  • “That yellow bread with the green things that poke up.”  (Garlic toast)
  • “The white stuff that goes round and round and little balls pop up.”  (Cottage cheese)
  • Ock-ee-butt (Redi Watt – the name of a local power company’s mascot)
  • Cock puss (peacock)
  • “Oooohh they’re going to get in trouble … they’re driving in pairs.”  (Upon seeing two people in the car up ahead.  It is believed she got it confused with ‘driving impaired’.)
  • “We’re driving in circles, I just know it!”  (Because most overpasses look the same and she thought we kept driving under the same one.)
  • “What’s your name, little girl?” asked a parishoner walking up to my niece in church one Sunday morning.  To which came the reply, “Dammit Tammy!”   (sorry Tam – couldn’t keep your name out of this one!)
  • Herk-a-mot-o-mus (Hippopotamus)
  • Hair Pork (Airport)
  • Short Jack Coppers (Long John Silvers)
  • Com-pit-ter (computer)
  • Slum gullions (Johnny Marzetti)
  • “Sitting there with my teeth in my mouth.”  (Not paying attention or basically not doing anything useful.)
  • “Mom, can I ‘duh’ you?”  (One of them asking permission to say ‘duh’ to her mother after her mother said something stupid.)
  • Lap dance therapy (lap band therapy)
  • Tiggy (TG&Y – the name of a southern general goods store)
  • “We love Tim because he first loved us.”  VBS Bible School Daily Bible Verse.  (1 John 4:19 (KJV) “We loved Him, because he first loved us.”  I could never figure out what my sister’s husband (named Tim) had to do with any of it.)

Song Title and Lyrics

  • “If you like peeing in the garden.”  (“If you like pina coladas” – with greatest apologies to Rupert Holmes.)
  • “Ohhh Olive….”  (“Who are you” The Who)
  • “Rocking in Atlanta at Taco Bell.”  (“Rocking in Atlanta at Tattletales” – from “Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crue)
  • “Virgin, virgin.”  (“Urgent” by Foreigner)
  • “One wing girl.”  (“White Wing Dove” from the song “Edge of Seventeen” by Stevie Nicks)
  • “Bald-headed woman.”  (“More than a woman.” this only works with the Bee Gees’ version.  The Tavares version actually sounded right, I guess.)
  • “No time mal-oo-gas”  (“No time for losers…” from Queen’s “We are the Champions.)

Movie and Television

  • Da Wizard Da Boz (“The Wizard of Oz”)
  • The Princess the Diarrheas (“The Princess Diaries”)

Learning to Read

  • Fried Shrimp House (the sign outside Friendship House retirement home)
  • Catholic Doctor (street sign Charters Drive)
  • Ped-a-strain (pedestrian)
  • Spat-tool-uh (spatula)
  • Man-your pile (manure pile)
  • Fffff-bih (FBI)






Screw You, Cancer – I went to Neskowin, Oregon – June 2017

Proposal Rock on a sunny day in the Pacific Northwest!

I’m a real science nerd!
– especially when it comes to nature, geology, astronomy and especially marine biology! I wish I would have followed my dream to become a marine biologist, but that’s an entirely different blog.

I combined my love for both travel and squishy things in June 2017.
I had never been to the Pacific Northwest (and only on the west coast in Los Angeles), but have always wanted to see the Oregon and Washington coast. I and Kelsey, my favorite traveling companion, rented a cabin on the Pacific shore at Neskowin, Oregon.

I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing this experience was.
First off, we both love to fly, so we didn’t even mind the long trip through the air across the continent.  Seeing Mt. Hood jutted above the clouds just below our plane was an impressive sight. Once we arrived at the Portland International Airport, we collected our bags and our rental car, and headed off for the 1 ½ hour drive to Neskowin.

Mt. Hood
Mt. Hood

When making plans for this vacation, I was certain of three things:
1) I wanted to be on the beach where I could hear the surf at night and where there would be tide pools to search for marine critters;
2) I wanted to be able to ride horses on the beach; and
3) I didn’t want to be in a hotel.
Anything else was going to be added value!

Neskowin absolutely did not disappoint!
I did a lot of research before finding a website called VACASA.  On this site, people who own property all over the world can list their locations for rent – Airbnb-style.

I searched the site and checked out several hotels and cabins on the coast, but absolutely fell in love with Fisher’s Roost.  As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the one.  Reading the amazing reviews solidified my decision.

Fisher’s Roost Cabin

Fisher’s Roost was absolutely perfect for the two of us.
There were two bedrooms, 1 and ½ baths, washer and dryer, full kitchen, dining room, living room, tv, and woodburning stove. Outside, there was a wraparound deck and a propane grill at our disposal.  The best part, the beach was just across the way from our front door.

The Pacific Northwest coast is fabulous!
It’s beautiful! The forests go on for days.  It only took a matter of minutes for us to throw our stuff into the cabin and wander out into the sand and surf.  I was overwhelmed and awed by the beauty of the area.  And even though the first two days were foggy, Proposal Rock could still be seen standing majestically in the water.

We dug around in the tide pools, where we saw barnacles and tiny shrimp and sea anemone clinging to the stumps of the Ghost Forest.  We collected shells and agates on the beach throughout our visit.  I had hoped to come across a nudibranch in one of the tide pools, but it wasn’t meant to be.  However, I was not disappointed, as there was so much to take in.

Neskowin is nestled between Pacific City to the north, and Lincoln City to the south.
Pacific City is small and homey and quiet. Lincoln City is larger and more touristy, with pastel colored souvenir shops and most restaurants and fast food places you’d expect of a decent-sized city.  Kelsey and I fell in love with the Pig ‘n Pancake and had breakfast there three out of five mornings.  There is also a Safeway in Lincoln City so you can stock up on all the goodies you’ll need to make delicious meals on the grill at the cabin.

Crab Benedict!  That’s right, I said Crab Benedict from Pig ‘n Pancake!

Up north at Pacific City, the atmosphere is more sea-faring, laid-back, and hometown. There is a little place called the Village Coffee Shop where we stopped and ate lunch before our beach horse riding adventure.  The cheeseburger!  So juicy!  You can’t beat it.  And the people were so nice.  Great service!

Once full of burgers and fries, we made our way to Green Acres, a little stable on top of the crest of the hill.  Kelsey and I walked among the horses and petted each one as they munched their hay.  We were matched up with our rides and given a short tutorial on horsemanship before mounting up and heading down to the beach.  It was still a little foggy on this day, but the beach was stellar, and riding along hoof-style on the surf was everything I had hoped it would be.  My horse, Charly, was the coolest.  He was very nice and mannerly.

Horseback riding on the beach!

We rode along the surf for about a half an hour before turning inland to climb up the dunes to the ridge.  The views from here were spectacular.  On one side, you could see the ocean in all its splendor stretching on for infinity.  On the other side, you could look down and see the forest and the park and the small weather-beaten town off in the foggy distance.  It was surreal and everything I had hoped for an more – especially since beach riding was one of my bucket list items.

Our cabin was wonderful.
I felt so completely relaxed there. The entire place is a gated community, so the privacy and sense of peace was greatly welcomed.  I took the bedroom that had the patio door for two reasons:  1) in case some miscreant tried to break in during the night, they would have to go through me to get to Kelsey; and 2)  I’m selfish!  It paid off.  I slept with the sliding glass door cracked open several inches at night and went off to dreamland with the sound of the crashing waves lulling me to sleep.

We spent our mornings sleeping in and our afternoons either in some activity or simply walking along the beach looking for sand dollars and shells.

On the last full day, we ventured south of Lincoln City to Newport, where we took in the Oregon Coast Aquarium – again, engaging my love for all things squishy.  The Aquarium had both indoor and outdoor exhibits, and each was well marked with information on what you were looking at.  We experienced the feel of the critters in the touch pool – some sea urchin, starfish, anemone, small skates and rays – and it was amazing.

Squishy things!

I had just purchased my new car “Penelope” a week before our trip, and I couldn’t resist the urge to stop in the gift shop, where I found a pastel purple, stuffed jellyfish to hang from her rear view mirror when I got home.

“Nessie” (named for Neskowin) hanging from Penelope’s rear view mirror.

On our last night, I truly did not want to go home.
I could have stayed there forever in that tiny little cabin, just right for me and my favorite traveling buddy, on the beach, listening to the surf, and enjoying the absolute peace and quiet. I will never forget this trip of a lifetime to a part of the country I had never been to.  It did not disappoint, and I will be returning!

How I Deal – LIFE AFTER CANCER – Part 1. decide what you want and plan your finances accordingly!

I don’t like the word “remission.”
– especially considering the definition found on

CaptureWords like “diminution” and “temporary” don’t sit well, even though as a two-time cancer survivor, I know how absolutely temporary remission can be.  And, just because I don’t like the word, doesn’t make it go away.

It’s psychological warfare.
Do I acknowledge that there is absolutely no cure for cancer? Sure, mine appears to be gone, but I have to remind myself that it is in remission.  My brain keeps saying, “But it was ‘gone’ before and then I was diagnosed again.”  The very nature of remission.

Will my cancer rear its ugly head again? No one can know.  My doctors don’t know, I certainly don’t know.  God probably knows, but He reveals things in His own time.

So, what’s a girl to do?
Accept it! As hard as it is sometimes, I really don’t have another choice.  My unabashed determination and unquenchable sense of adventure drive me forward.

So, I soldier on.
I do the same things other girls do. I go to work.  I fret about my weight.  I spend too much on cosmetics.  I love on my pets as if they were my children.  I yell at other drivers.

I have always had an insatiable sense of adventure and the need to see the world. I want to see and experience everything.  And, I’ve accomplished a lot of that in my 53 years.  But, it’s never enough.  I’d like to be happy and comfortable with what I’ve been able to do.

But, there is always more.
The world is such a vast place with so many intriguing views to take in. From the mountains and canyons and rivers, to the ocean with its beautiful reefs and deep crevices, to manmade wonders, such as the Eiffel Tower and the San Antonio Riverwalk.  There is so much more ethnic and unusual food to try.  So many more animals to pet.  More zip lines, more riding trails, more beautiful malls and museums to check out.  More boats to ride and more planes on which to fly.

I have to be honest – sometimes it feels like absolute desperation.
I think as we get older, everyone feels a sense of urgency every now and then. An impinging notion that we are “x” years old and still haven’t accomplished “y.”  Even before my first diagnosis at 42 years old, I could already feel the beginnings of just such impressions.

After my first round with the disease, it wasn’t much different, although I was in a very different mindset after my first round than I have been after my second round. (Another blog post will come regarding this.)  I was married, and we never had much extra money.  Mainly because of my inability to say “no” to my husband and stepchild.  One wanted a new car every six months, and both wanted the latest new phone and electronic gadget, and every gaming console available, and every cable channel imaginable.  I don’t have to tell anyone how financially irresponsible this is, and I have no excuse for my inability to buckle down, since I was in charge of the finances, and I can do nothing but take full responsibility.

But, I digress.
Now that I am divorced, back in charge of my life completely, and only responsible for my own self, the outlook is splendid. I have money to do the things I want to do.  I have the time to do the things I want to do.

Having cancer definitely heightens your sense of desperation.
No one knows how long they have to live.  And, I am no different.  However, given my cancer history and my family’s cancer history, I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel an added sense of urgency to accomplish the things I want to accomplish.

To that end, I have revamped my own person budget. The first thing I did was execute my idea of opening the two additional checking accounts – an idea I had attempted to implement during my marriage to no avail.

How it works:
My original checking account is used to pay rent, utilities, car payments, credit card bills, groceries, and other household and living expenses.

Once all of those things are taken care of, I then allot the remainder of my paychecks to my second and third checking accounts.

For my second checking account, I allot the same amount from each paycheck twice a month to what I call my “Shopping Therapy” card. This account is funded with enough money to assure my daily living expenses, including gas in my car and lunch at work, as well as some “fun” money, which can be spent on anything I want, including my insatiable lust for Kate Spade bags, over the next two weeks.  The key to this strategy is … ONCE IT’S GONE, IT’S GONE.  After that, I’m taking canned tuna or $1 frozen Michelina’s entrees to work with me and tearing myself away from the Michael Kors jewelry case. But, that’s the very purpose of this account.  To keep the first and third accounts in check.

The third account receives all remaining funds from my paycheck AFTER I’ve taken care of living and daily expenses and my fun money. This account can ONLY be used for travel and experiences (or emergencies).  I cannot use it to buy those tweed Coach loafers – even though it seems like at the time it’s a dire emergency!

Being spontaneous I have no willpower otherwise. My daddy spoiled me rotten, and, (with the exception of deference to my husband and step-child during my second marriage), I have always gotten what I wanted.

This wanderlust continues into my middle age and my post-cancer lifestyle.
Fortunately for me, I now have a responsible financial system in place and awesome vacation day benefits from my job to give me the PERMISSION to get out there and involved in whatever my heart desires.

Because I recognize the absolute need to take charge of my life after cancer, taking charge of my finances and creating a budget to ensure that I am allocating my funds to all the things I need and want, is the first way to ensure I am now able to see a future of fun, adventure, travel, and all sorts of experiences that I can take part in.  Screw cancer.  It  may have had me down and out at times, but I’m back up and still alive – nay, LIVING – each and every day!

Yes, the desperation is still there, but I take solace in the fact that I know good things are coming because I have taken the first step in creating for myself the ability to follow my dreams and desires – financial stability.  Even if the experiences have to happen six months at a time.s, in-the-moment type of person, I need this type of checks and balances because


Screw you, Cancer – I Went to The Big Apple – April 2017

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I had previously visited New York City and found it fascinating and tedious at the same time.

I enjoyed seeing the famous landmarks; the bustle of a million people moving erratically as individuals, yet totally in sync as a city; and, of course, the food!

My previous visit was in March 2002. That’s when there was still a giant hole where the World Trade Center Towers once stood.  Earth movers and dump trucks hummed busily in and out of the site hauling away the debris.  The corner Burger King, still with its recognizable red letters x’d out and “NYPD Emergency Operations” scrawled in blue spray paint just under them.  It was moving.  Posters and candles and stuffed animals and flowers and memorials lined the streets of lower Manhattan for miles.  Each an individual tribute to a fallen loved one; collectively, a solemn oath silently whispered by the hearts of all Americans that our Country will not yield to terrorists.

My party had tickets to Phantom of the Opera at The Majestic on 44th Street that year.  Front row mezz!  I thrilled to the goose flesh prickled upon my arms as the infamous chandelier went whizzing by my head at breakneck speed.  An understudy was portraying the Phantom that night, but I sure couldn’t tell.  The evening and the performance were both magical and I was dizzy at the very thought of being in a theater in New York City enjoying one of the most spectacular events ever brought to the stage.

I sit back now thinking how I had my whole world ahead of me. I was 38 years old, thin, in great shape, single, and pretty.  I could walk around Manhattan for hours without taking even a five minute break.  Except to eat, of course!

I had no idea what a difference another four years would make, when I would be diagnosed with breast cancer the first time in 2006.

At any rate, in April 2017, I ventured back to The Big Apple, this time with my 17-year-old great niece Kelsey, whom you will read a lot about in this blog. She is not only my favorite traveling companion, but the very reason I breathe!

It was her Spring Break from her Senior Year of High School and I was hoping this was going to be one of those trips that she will remember for a lifetime.

One of her surprises was that I hired a stretch limousine to pick us up at LaGuardia to take us to our hotel on W. 56th Street – The Manhattan Club – a swank, suite hotel only blocks from Central Park.  I couldn’t wait to get down to baggage claim and see the driver holding the sign with her name on it and her looking at me inquisitively.

Unfortunately, our plane was delayed and the stretch limo I ordered wasn’t available later that day. The company still sent a car – a really big black SUV and she still freaked when saw her name on the driver’s board and all was right with the world.

Long story short … WE HAD A BALL!

We took a bike carriage ride through Central Park and our driver was so cool. He stopped at nearly every possible thing to look at, explained to us just what we were looking at, how long and why it was there, and what movies or tv shows it had been featured in.  The glacial rocks; the Friends fountain; Bethesda Terrace; The Shandor, aka “Spook Central” in Ghostbusters; and, more somberly, The Dakota, where John Lennon was shot.  Needless to say, our bike chauffer got a very big tip, on top of the ridiculous cost of the tickets for our ride.

We spent our days meandering about the island from top to bottom. We shopped in Times Square, visited Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum, and ate nearly everything is sight.  We rode on the double-decker sight-seeing bus and nearly broke our necks looking at everything there was to see.  And, I saw the new One World Trade Tower, which stands gloriously in place of that hole I stared down into 15 years prior.

One of the highlights was The Lion King at the Minskoff Theatre on 45th Street.  We had been eagerly anticipating the show for weeks and it was finally time.  As we shuffled into the theater and were ushered to our seats, that old familiar feeling of headiness came over me as I took in the expanse of the theater’s interior.  The production was outstanding – the sites, the costumes, the performances.  All spot on and phenomenal.

More days and more sites and more food.  Cascade Café on 8th and 54th quickly became our favorite breakfast haunt, and I think we had breakfast there at least four out of five mornings.  I use the term breakfast lightly, because when I’m on vacation (or any time really) I’m all about living in the moment.  There was one morning Kelsey and I had Tiramisu for breakfast.  No regrets! – gotta cram in what I can in each six months!

And, though I was exactly two years removed from my mastectomy and flap reconstruction, I was boundless of energy, enthusiastic, and wide-eyed with wonderment at the visions that unfolded in front of our eyes.

As stated previously, this trip was intended as a lifetime memory for Kelsey, and while it succeeded at that, it was also a week that I will absolutely never forget.

As the sun rose on Central Park on the last day of our visit, I rode quietly in the back of our limo, taking a moment from my daily existentialist ponderings, to wonder in awe at just how fortunate I am that once again, I had the privilege to live another great adventure. Thankful, as always, to God, The James Cancer Hospital, Drs. Carson and Cabiling and their staffs, The Stefanie Spielman Comprehensive Breast Center and my family once again for seeing me through the second time and permitting me to enjoy yet another of life’s most wonderful moments.